For anyone who didn’t see or who isn’t on TikTok, this month I did something scary. I auditioned for a professional musical! As an actor, I’m trained as a stage actor with some experience in film so this was a relatively new venture for me. When the casting call was posted, I was reluctant to apply due to past experiences and the lack of confidence. Without going into too much details, I sang before I acted. I’d great confidence in primary school where I got loads of solos. That was affected when I didn’t get any lead roles in youth theatre (we did pantos with singing solos) and when my solo got cut in our TY musical for budgeting reasons. My confidence was somewhat restored when I did a solo in college and when I’d jam with other musicians.

Back to 4 weeks ago, I decided to take the plunge and audition. My audition was at 3.30pm and I chose to sing ‘I Dreamed a Dream’ for my dramatic song and ‘Roxie’ for my comedic song. As I practiced in the run up to it, I sang at a low volume to not be heard and was embarrassed when anyone did. I was always like that, don’t know why. One of things I do is sing when drying my hair so the hair dryer drowns me out! No that I’m bad but, I don’t know.

After hanging up my witch’s cape, seeing the family during the mid term break, I made my way back to Sligo for the audition. I did tongue twisters and warm ups as I walked to the venue while speed walking in the rain (luckily I had my umbrella as usual). I was in the waiting area trying to keep my breathing steady and trying not to think about how I don’t sound as good as the person ahead of me. Then it was my turn.

I was greeted by the directors warmly. They asked why I was there, I said I’d very little experience with musical theatre, wanted to challenge myself and get the opportunity to be in a professional musical. I sang my songs with my whole heart then while surprising myself as I used the space and hit the notes. The director was very complimentary and recommended that I got professional vocal training. Unfortunately, I didn’t get a call back.

Right now, I’m looking for a vocal coach and really want to make an effort to regain my confidence and finding my voice again. I’m going to share my journey here hoping that it’d give someone else the courage to do the same and to let you all know how it goes!